Singles Deleted Scenes – What Would the King Do?

INT. STEVE’S APARTMENT

Steve sits on his kitchen counter, holding Linda’s card. Bailey sits on the opposite counter, drinking coffee. Between them is a wall of shame – – photos and clippings and Elvis sightings ripped from the tabloids, etc.

STEVE

Even her handwriting is cool.

BAILEY

I wouldn’t call her yet.

STEVE

What would the King do?

BAILEY

Elvis would Lear jet her directly
to Vegas and rock. He wouldn’t get
near a phone.

STEVE

That’s why he’s the King.

Janet Livermore swings in the through the full-size kitchen window. She wears an old white robe now, and holds a mug of coffee. Her body has a forward tilt . . . she’s always moving.

STEVE

Hey, Janet.

BAILEY

Janet, what’s up?

JANET

You guys never called me last
night.

BAILEY

It’s my fault – –

JANET

No big deal. I went over to
Cliff’s
(agonizing sigh)
I’m in love with my neighbor.

Bailey gestures to a breakfast spread, in boxes from his restaurant. She happily helps herself.

JANET

Oh. Roger from enrollment called
this morning. Somebody turned us
in on our student loans.

BAILEY

Give him a salmon, he’ll work it
out.

JANET

I already did.

STEVE

Bailey, some day you’re going to
meet someone you can’t tip.

BAILEY

People don’t tip enough. Let me
tell you. In France, where my
family is a major-major, everybody
tips for everything. If I tell
a good joke, somebody tips me.

Steve reaches in his pocket. Produces a dollar.

STEVE

Here. For being you.

BAILEY

Thanks.
(Takes it)
Janet, check it out. He met somebody.

JANET

Oh yeah?

STEVE

When should I call her, for
maximum impact?

JANET

You like her?

He nods.

JANET

Call her today.

BAILEY

No way. Then he gives away all
the power.

JANET

Yeah, but he starts out on such
a cool note.

Steve looks at the card, as if it might contain an answer.

BAILEY

Never appear desperate.

JANET

Follow your instincts.