We thought it would be fun to wrap this Fast Times 35th anniversary celebration with this Spicoli scene that was not to be. In Cameron’s book, Spicol’s dream sequence occurs on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. After Johnny turned it down, it was written for Merv Griffin, Tom Snyder and finally David Letterman. All of them graciously turned it down for a variety of reasons (more here), so the scene was re-written as a surf competition interview with Stu Nahan. We thought you might like to read the Merv Griffin version. Enjoy!
DARKNESS
We are in the middle of a deep, dark void. After a
moment, a pinprick of light appears in the
distance. We head towards the light. We are being
led somewhere important.
As we draw still closer, curtains suddenly part to
reveal a wildly cheering studio audience. We hear
the voice of Merv Griffin.
MERV GRIFFIN (O.S.)
Will you please give a warm welcome
to… Jeff Spicoli!
The Merv Griffin Show band begins playing a Merv
Griffin Show version of AC/DC’s “Highway to Hell”.
Someone hands Jeff Spicoli a microphone. He works
the studio audience into a frenzy as he sings the
words to “Highway to Hell”: Merv Griffin show
style.
SPICOLI
(singing)
‘Layin’ ladies!
Drinkin’ wine!
You gotta dollar —
You’re a friend of mine!
Gettin’ loose!
Feelin’ fine!
You and me — It’s get down time!
We’re on the Highway to Hell!
The Highway to Hell!’
Spicoli finishes up with a spectular pump. The
audience goes wild as Merv Griffin greets him
warmly, and guides Spicoli to his seat. Spicoli
motions for the cheers to die down. Griffin is
obviously happy to see him. He touches Spicoli’s
arm lightly.
GRIFFIN
How’ve you been?
SPICOLI
Outrageous, Merv. Nice to be here.
I feel great.
GRIFFIN
I was going to say… your eyes
look a little red.
SPICOLI
I’ve been swimming, Merv.
The audience howls. It’s a famous Spicoli line.
SPICOLI (CONT’D)
Seriously, Merv, everything is
great.
I was thinking about picking up
some hash this weekend, maybe going
up to the mountains.
GRIFFIN
(concerned)
I wanted to talk a little bit about
school, if I could…
SPICOLI
School.
(sighs)
School is no problem. All you have
to do is go to get the grades. And
if you know something, all you have
to do is go about half the time.
GRIFFIN
How often do you go?
SPICOLI
I don’t go at all.
The audience is howling again. He is Merv’s
favorite guest.
GRIFFIN
I hear you brought a film clip with
you. Do you want to set it up for
us?
SPICOLI
Well, it pretty much speaks for
itself. Peter, you want to run with
it?
EXT. A MASSIVE WAVE – DAY
The film clip begins. It is a mammoth wave cresting
against the blue sky.
SPICOLI (V.O.)
Merv, this is the action down at
Sunset Cliffs at about six in the
morning.
GRIFFIN (V.O.)
Fascinating.
A tiny figure appears at the foot of the wave.
GRIFFIN (CONT’D)
Who’s that?
SPICOLI
That’s me, Merv.
The audience gasps.
GRIFFIN (V.O.)
Are you going to ride that wave?
SPICOLI
Totally.
We watch as Spicoli catches the perfect wave, and
it hurtles him through a turquoise tube of water.
GRIFFIN
What’s going through your mind
right here, Jeff? The danger of it
all?
SPICOLI
Merv, I’m thinking… I’ve only got
about four good hours of surfing
left before these little clowns
from junior high start showing up
with their boogie boards.
The audience is howling once again… when suddenly
we hear the loud noise of a door opening, followed
by a shrill voice. It is Spicoli’s eight-year-old
brother, Curtis.
Jeff Spicoli’s dream of glory evaporates.
Sweet!
Love this! Spicoli killing it on Merv. Highway to Hell! so perfect!
Wow! Never knew this!
classic Spicoli goodness…
“those little clowns with their boogie boards”. Spicoli is the gift that keeps giving
Lesli Ferguson!!!!
How about your one last thing is resurrecting Roadies?
Love this!!
This is great – so much fun to read, Cameron Crowe!
Man..
We need a writers cut to get all the deleted scenes that appear in TV versions into the full film
This is way cool!!
I love your brain, Mr. Crowe. You’ve helped me to dream with your work. Thank you.
Awesome!
I remember meeting Cameron Crowe at the Mint years ago….Nancy was playing a solo show. Brad Pitt showed up with new girlfriend Jennifer Aniston, but I was more stoked when I saw Cameron there. I was at the bar getting a drink and had to say something. I introduced myself and thanked him for his movies. We started talking about Fast Times and I asked him about the deleted scenes I saw on the TV version….”You know your Fast Times”….he mentioned maybe putting together a full version…I am still waiting….still one of my all time favorite movies…thanks for the deleted scene too…that would have been classic….
Being younger than us Cameron was a hoot. A little off kinda like spicoli just not quite as cool yet.
Thanks Cameron for some unforgettable memories.
Uni class of ’72
Ditto!! Cool Days at Uni 🙂
Just saw Fast Times with audio commentary by Amy Heckerling and Cameron Crowe, gives me a whole other perspective on the film. Greetings from México!
Despite the fact Producers, Directors & Choreographers in 3 states want to stage it, “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” the Musical sits rotting in my cellar because I can’t reach Mr. Crowe. Cameron, if you read these comments, please contact me… It would make a great film too!
Danny
It’s like Mrs Johnston’s public speaking class all over again!
Cameron Crowe… you’re my hero!! We met in LV when you were writing the liner notes for the Eagles…Glenn Fry is and will always be my music idol…. but thank you for introducing yourself, it was the best 4 hrs of my being!! Fast Times 35, Almost Famous 17, but I gotta say I need some more Roadies!!! It was amazing!!! Sending nothing but admiralization!! You Fucking Rock!! ❤️?✌️
Deleted scene where Spicoli describes pulling a knife of Mr. Hand is PRICELESS…
I’m glad you went with Stu and the girls.
Watched FT last night on HBO. Perfect selection. Was surprised how nostalgic it made me for high school days, young love, and working in mall restaurants. Gosh, 1982, we were so young then, grandparents now.