Fast Times Deleted Scene – Spicoli on Merv Griffin

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Posted by Greg on August 4, 2017 at 10:14 am
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We thought it would be fun to wrap this Fast Times 35th anniversary celebration with this Spicoli scene that was not to be. In Cameron’s book, Spicol’s dream sequence occurs on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. After Johnny turned it down, it was written for Merv Griffin, Tom Snyder and finally David Letterman. All of them graciously turned it down for a variety of reasons (more here), so the scene was re-written as a surf competition interview with Stu Nahan. We thought you might like to read the Merv Griffin version. Enjoy!

DARKNESS

We are in the middle of a deep, dark void. After a

moment, a pinprick of light appears in the

distance. We head towards the light. We are being

led somewhere important.

 

As we draw still closer, curtains suddenly part to

reveal a wildly cheering studio audience. We hear

the voice of Merv Griffin.

 

MERV GRIFFIN (O.S.)

Will you please give a warm welcome

to… Jeff Spicoli!

 

The Merv Griffin Show band begins playing a Merv

Griffin Show version of AC/DC’s “Highway to Hell”.

Someone hands Jeff Spicoli a microphone. He works

the studio audience into a frenzy as he sings the

words to “Highway to Hell”: Merv Griffin show

style.

SPICOLI

(singing)

‘Layin’ ladies!

Drinkin’ wine!

You gotta dollar —

You’re a friend of mine!

Gettin’ loose!

Feelin’ fine!

You and me — It’s get down time!

We’re on the Highway to Hell!

The Highway to Hell!’

 

Spicoli finishes up with a spectular pump. The

audience goes wild as Merv Griffin greets him

warmly, and guides Spicoli to his seat. Spicoli

motions for the cheers to die down. Griffin is

obviously happy to see him. He touches Spicoli’s

arm lightly.

 

GRIFFIN

How’ve you been?

SPICOLI

Outrageous, Merv. Nice to be here.

I feel great.

GRIFFIN

I was going to say… your eyes

look a little red.

 

SPICOLI

I’ve been swimming, Merv.

The audience howls. It’s a famous Spicoli line.

SPICOLI (CONT’D)

Seriously, Merv, everything is

great.

I was thinking about picking up

some hash this weekend, maybe going

up to the mountains.

 

GRIFFIN

(concerned)

I wanted to talk a little bit about

school, if I could…

SPICOLI

School.

(sighs)

School is no problem. All you have

to do is go to get the grades. And

if you know something, all you have

to do is go about half the time.

GRIFFIN

How often do you go?

SPICOLI

I don’t go at all.

 

The audience is howling again. He is Merv’s

favorite guest.

 

GRIFFIN

I hear you brought a film clip with

you. Do you want to set it up for

us?

SPICOLI

Well, it pretty much speaks for

itself. Peter, you want to run with

it?

 

EXT. A MASSIVE WAVE – DAY

 

The film clip begins. It is a mammoth wave cresting

against the blue sky.

 

SPICOLI (V.O.)

Merv, this is the action down at

Sunset Cliffs at about six in the

morning.

GRIFFIN (V.O.)

Fascinating.

 

A tiny figure appears at the foot of the wave.

 

GRIFFIN (CONT’D)

Who’s that?

SPICOLI

That’s me, Merv.

The audience gasps.

 

GRIFFIN (V.O.)

Are you going to ride that wave?

SPICOLI

Totally.

 

We watch as Spicoli catches the perfect wave, and

it hurtles him through a turquoise tube of water.

 

GRIFFIN

What’s going through your mind

right here, Jeff? The danger of it

all?

SPICOLI

Merv, I’m thinking… I’ve only got

about four good hours of surfing

left before these little clowns

from junior high start showing up

with their boogie boards.

 

The audience is howling once again… when suddenly

we hear the loud noise of a door opening, followed

by a shrill voice. It is Spicoli’s eight-year-old

brother, Curtis.

 

Jeff Spicoli’s dream of glory evaporates.

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